6/27

Grandma,
It has been sixty-one days, 51 minutes since you left and I find myself missing you more and more each minute.
The girls and I had a lot of fun in Las Vegas. We all got to wear some of your jewelry, and that meant a lot. However, everything else in my life is still falling apart. I can feel your presence more and more as things keep getting tougher. I just wish you were here so I could have someone to talk to. No one else is able to fill the growing void .
I really don't want to complain and be sad. I know that you simply wouldn't stand for it. You have made me the woman I am today and I know you wouldn't want to see me in the state that I am in now. I've been pretty good at holding it together but it's all a lie. I am trying to be the strong woman I know I am but I'm rapidly losing my grip. Everyone is trying to hard to help me out but I can't even help myself. Sometimes I feel I don't deserve people's grace, and other times I feel that I always get the short end of the stick no matter how hard I work. I just need your encouragement because I know that you have always believed in me, and for some reason your rationale is the only one I will let myself listen to. I'm being selfish in wanting you to be there for me, I know this is something I must do myself in order to grow, but it's so hard without you.
I know things will get better, I just can't seem to convince myself of it yet. I love you so much and I miss you even more. I hope you're well, and please say hi to Nooski and Grandpa Don for me. I love you!
Kaarin